If you’ve clicked on this link in Google, chances are you’re addicted to watches. That’s ok, don’t fear. But if you’re not quite sure if you’re addicted yet, check out this list and judge for yourself!
1. You teach new things about watches to your department store sales advisor
So of course, you stop every time you see watches in a window display. That can be a small watch shop, a brand’s Authorized Dealer or your typical department store. It’s doesn’t matter: you can’t resist the urge to go and admire those timepieces.
But when you do, you start to talk to the sales advisor, inevitably. You both love watches, right? Well, more often then not, you really are addicted to watches whereas, for them, it’s just a job. Unless you’re facing a very knowledgeable advisor at an AD, chances are you know more about watches then they do.
So inevitably, you begin to tell them when this particular model was released, how it’s different from the one released 2 years before and why he or she should consider advising people to get a Seiko instead of a Fossil.
2. On YouTube, your “Up Next” and “Recommended” sections are filled with videos about watches
Be it one of your coworkers or your partner inadvertently looking over your shoulder, they will raise an eyebrow: “what’s up with all the watches?”
As soon as you have a few minutes of tranquillity, or even when commuting in the train, you can’t refraining from watching a video about watches… or ten.
You can watch a video about that beautiful (but discontinued) Seiko SARB035 or a video about how to fix your leaking tap, it doesn’t matter: your “Up next” video is ALWAYS a video about a wristwatch. D’oh!
And by the way, you know all the cool and knowledgeable channels: The Time Teller, WatchFinder, Armand The Watch Guy, Just One More Watch, or… The Slender Wrist 😉
3. Your Instagram feed and profile is filled with watches
Watches and watches and watches and watches…
Your Instagram feed looks more like a Google Image Search page about the search term “watch” than a typical Instagram feed with quotes, lifestyle pics, travel landscapes and interior design ideas.
It’s so monotone that you fear to open Instagram in public – people might start give you a look. But you can see the variety, subtleties, and interestingness is this never-ending list of timepieces.
And you’re sad when you see the “All caught up” mention. Don’t be afraid: I just feel like you do. So here is my Instagram account if you feel you need some more watches in your feed (we always do, don’t we?): The Slender Wrist on Instagram.
I know, I’m not the best sponsor for your watch addiction… sorry!
4. You start to love watch designs you hated 3 months ago
You now start to consider that dive watches, even if you found them ugly just a few months ago – that’s actually what happened to me when I became a watch enthusiast.
But the opposite is true, too!
Those complicated, over-the-top chronographs you used to like don’t do it anymore for you. There is just too many things going on on the dial, and you don’t enjoy it anymore.
Maybe that’s the exact opposite for you, but you get the point.
Seeing so many watch designs so often gives you a keen eye for detail. And you now start to appreciate simpler, more refined designs. All the while looking away from messy designs.
5. You can spot tiny design details nobody ever notices
Not only seeing many designs help you understand more and more what designs you like, but also why you like them!
When seeing a regular watch, you can now see all the tiny details that nobody ever notices, yet are an eyesore to you.
- That minute hands? Too short.
- That orange bezel? Doesn’t match the orange hour markers.
- That date window? Not properly positioned.
- That inscription font? Just plain ugly.
Those details, you just wouldn’t notice them at all previously. But now, they’re like punches in your face that you can’t avoid.
So here it is: the pursuit of the perfect watch begins.
6. Your Google Search history is filled with watch references
How to best find your grail watch than to search for it?
Going to your Google Search history clearly reveals your addiction. There are watch references ALL. OVER. THE PLACE.
Whereas the man on the street will search about the “How To Get Away With Murder” show, “how to shine my shoes” or “where to go on vacation with my kids”, your searches resembles a Wiki of all watches ever produced.
7. To you, 5610 is not a number, but a G-Shock reference
You know the one I’m talking about!
The direct descendant of the first G-Shock ever made in 1983. The solar-powered, radio-controlled affordable square G-Shock. The watch you set all your other watches to. The all-mighty Casio G-Shock GW-M5610!
And it’s not about G-Shocks only: you know references from many other brands, like Patek Philippe, Rolex, or Audemars Piguet – to name a few. From the top of your head, just like that.
- 116655? The Rolex Yachmaster in 18 ct Everose gold.
- 15450? There’s a ST missing there! It’s the 15450ST, and a cracking Audemars Piguet Royal Oak 37 mm with a silver dial.
- 5270? You’ll go with the “r” extension: the Patek Philippe Grand Complications Perpetual Calendar Chronograph in rose gold (beeaaaauuuuuutiful!)
Your brain is messed up in a way most people can’t even begin to imagine. How can a human remember all of this?
Let me tell you this: be proud of it!
8. Your eBay and Amazon recommended products looks like a watch e-commerce website
Google searches will inevitably lead you to the devil. The places that will make you even more addicted to watches. The worst of their kind… ONLINE SHOPS!
And the worst of them, for that matter.
Links to your favorite watches will lead you, one way or another, to eBay and Amazon. And there, it’s just a never ending flow of cool timepieces, one after another.
There are just so many of them, you can’t resist! And because you can’t, they know it. So eBay and Amazon start to propose you even more of your fix. Your recommended products is an endless list of watches. Like it’s all they have been (and will) ever sell.
9. You (loved, then) hated, then loved Rolex
There, in your recommended products list – or in your Instagram feed – it pops: a Rolex watch.
Maybe you used to loved Rolex for the social status it conveys. And then you began to hate it, because you can see it at every other successful guy’s wrist. It became a commodity.
Or the opposite: you hated Rolex, precisely because it’s used mainly as a shameless display of wealth. It’s too “in-your face”. It’s a bragging, peacocking watch, no more no less.
And then you began to learn about the brand and its history. Rolex was the new kid on the block compared to behemoths like Omega, Jaeger-LeCoultre or the even older Vacheron Constantin. But it managed to have quite an extensive list of achievements, thanks in part to its clever marketing strategies.
And you’ve gone full circle: you just love Rolex now (again). And you want one.
10. You stalk people’s wrists all the time
Picture your typical shopping afternoon with your partner at the nearest mall. While he or she looks at the storefronts and drags you in when there’s something interesting, you look at… people’s wrists.
Here is a typical (an non-exhaustive) list of what you do:
- you want to recognise a brand (or even better, a model!) from afar.
- you critique people’s bad tastes
- you assess how big or small that watch looks on that guy
- you imagine better alternatives to that Rolex Submariner-looking watch
- you picture yourself with that nice looking Tudor watch you saw on a guy’s wrists just 10 seconds ago
You know that’s weird and creepy, right?
Welcome to the club!
11. You wonder how big or small your wrist is compared to the average man
I bet you wished you wrist was a little bit bigger.
Well, that was an easy one; you’re on a site where I talk about men’s watches for small wrists after all. But even then, most of the time we wished some brands would sell some watches in a smaller size.
“How come all the watches that I like are 42+ mm large? Why can’t brands propose a 38 mm alternative that look as good?. Is there a problem with me?”, you wonder.
And there you go, searching around the Internet about what the average wrist size for a man is. And if you’re below or above that average.
Let me tell you this: there is nothing wrong with your wrist size, really. And there are plenty of cool men’s watches for small wrists, by the way.
12. You start wondering how to pronounce watch brands names the right way
Vacheron Constantin. Audemars Piguet. Ulysse Nardin. You never heard or cared about those brands before. After all, to the vast majority of people, these are just names, not even brands.
But because you’re addicted to watches you now have heard about them. You know about them. And you probably now care about them, and probably lust for them too.
But how the hell are you supposed to pronounce these watch brands names?
You hear YouTubers butchering those names every other video, and want to know better. So the question is: have you been pronouncing those brand names wrong all your life?
The answer is probably yes. But don’t fear, as a French native speaker, I put together an extensive watch brands pronunciation guide to help you nail those names perfectly.
13. You can’t say “Nice watch!” to 99% of people anymore
Because you find the watch they’re wearing ugly, ill-fitting or just plain boring.
That is one of the downside of becoming a watch enthusiast: you can’t appreciate a simple watch anymore. Fashion brands don’t it for you anymore. Anything below $200 appears cheap (even if it’s not).
And you can see where mainstream brands cut corners: cheap metals, poor finishing, doubtful design choices, bad quality control, you name it. It just jumps out at you.
Unless your conversation partner is wearing a truly nice or interesting piece, it has simply become impossible for you to genuinely compliment somebody’s watch.
14. You know technical watch terms most people even know exist
Guilloché. Tourbillon. Côtes de Genève. Cloisonné. Rattrapante. Relief.
All of these words look and sound very French to most people, but that’s about where it ends. They won’t stop and wonder what they mean, and just won’t think about it after.
But not you.
You that guilloché is that magnificent technique allowing to create a repetitive pattern on a dial, that a tourbillon is a mechanism that allows the balance wheel to become more precise – not to mention that it’s crazy beautiful to look at. Or that rattrapante is basically the ancestor of the lap function on your G-Shock – only in a mechanical watch (how crazy is that?).
Most luxury brands are still to this day made in Switzerland. And for this reason, the horological world is filled with French words. And you know them!
15. You’re frustrated that people don’t notice what watch you’re wearing
Because you don’t get to meet watch enthusiast, if any, well: nobody notices or cares about the watch that you’re wearing.
How is that possible?
I mean, you’ve been trying to find that very rare vintage Seiko forever! You have a Rolex Oyster Perpetual that look gorgeous. You have one of the best band for buck you could ever find from Hamilton, Citizen or Certina.
Yet, your carefully chosen watch doesn’t get any look, let alone comment. People just don’t care about your proper watch. And that is a very frustrating experience.
A little note on this: remember that you are the one to enjoy your watch. Don’t wear a watch because you want people to notice it. Because – unless that’s your thing and you’re wearing something really flashy – you’re gonna feel pretty miserable.
16. You’re frustrated that people notice your ugliest watches
“That’s a nice watch, congrats!” How on Earth is it possible to love this piece?, you wonder.
What is more frustrating than people not congratulating you on a proper, good-looking watch? People congratulating you on a watch that you don’t have a lot of respect or esteem for.
I mean, every now and then, you like to wear that tacky or bigger piece, because it’s fun, right? But is this really the watch you want to get compliments on? Of course not!
I mean, how on Earth can people tell you they like your Invicta Pro Diver two-tone, when you wore a killer Orient Ray II the day before (and nobody noticed it)? You just don’t get it.
(I have owned both watches by the way, this is a true story!)
17. You argue with people about why they should wear a watch
“Why are you wearing a watch? Can’t you tell the time form your smartphone or computer? Nobody needs a watch!”
OH COME ON!
That poor guy should never have told you that. And now, it’s time for a rant. Time for you to tell about style accessory, craftsmanship, legacy, history… all the good reasons to actually wear a watch.
Because of course, you don’t need to wear a watch to tell the time (even if it’s still the most convenient item to do so).
You just want to. And you argue about why other people should, too!
18. You baby your watches (even your beater watches)
The term “beater watch” gives you the chills.
You just can’t imagine that a watch is worn to be banged around or beaten up. You don’t understand how someone could be so inconsiderate regarding such a fine and precise item as a wristwatch.
Because to you, there is no such thing as a beater watch.
19. You actually consider getting a Patek Philippe someday
You’ve seen to which extend a brand like Patek Philippe, Audemars Piguet or Vacheron Constantin takes craftsmanship seriously (now, that’s an understatement!).
So of course, the day where you might spend $200k (or $50k) on a watch has not arrived yet – and it may never will. But you can clearly picture yourself walking into one of the holy trinity brand Authorized Dealer, order a watch, wait 2 years for it to get shipped to you.
And then drop the money to get your grail watch. This is what being a watch addict is all about!