Selfish wives don’t come with clear labels. Before you spend some time with a woman it’s hard to tell if they are empathetic or selfish. But before you feel guilty that maybe all your marital problems exist because you may be the problem, here’s a list of 13 phrases that a selfish wife may unknowingly say that lets out her true nature and might absolve you of the guilt.
“You’re Never Happy With Anything I Do”
This has become their catchphrase every time you bring up a concern in the discussion, they pull this move. This happens mainly because they are too selfish to hear the pain beneath your words so it’s easier to shut you down with a phrase like this.
“I Do Everything for You”
You are constantly hearing how ungrateful you are and how much they do for you. This repetition is a way to induce guilt in you for having basic emotional, financial or physical needs. Two loving partners consistently show consideration for each other’s needs rather than praising their ownselves.
“You’re Making a Big Deal Out of Nothing”
When something genuinely bothers you and you approach them with the hope of problem solving, they will minimize your experience or even criticize you for being too sensitive.
“Why Can’t You Just Let It Go?”
Mention their hurtful pattern and they get defensive. They rush to quickly invalidate your feelings and blame you for maintaining a scoreboard. Accountability-deflection is more convenient to them.
“You Know How Hard I Work”
A selfish woman may always highlight her contributions while downplaying yours. She demands you to stay silent about your needs because apparently working both outside and taking care of home is a favor she does for you, even when you contribute equally to all chores and parenting every way possible. This makes you suppress your own exhaustion and needs to accommodate her stress.
“You’re Too Sensitive”
The most heartbreaking aspect of marrying an apathetic and selfish woman is that she is insensitive to your feelings. When you express that something is hurting you she attacks you by labelling your reaction too exaggerated. She rarely ever works on her patterns but calls your response the main problem.
“If You Really Loved Me, You Would…”
This phrase is a manipulative tactic to get her way with things. Every other disagreement becomes a test of your loyalty as you end up defending yourself. You invest your energy proving your love through giving up your perspective or apologizing even when you aren’t wrong.
“I Shouldn’t Have to Ask”
She expects you to anticipate her needs and when you fail she gets upset. At the same time she calls yours needs unreasonable. To her her needs are the priority naturally. Expectation of mind-reading can erode the emotional connection in a marriage.
“You’re Making Me Look Bad”
She is more concerned about her reputation rather than how you feel with her in the relationship. This can create a pressure on you to play along with her pretense of perfection even when you feel terrible.
“Everyone Else’s Husband Does It”
A woman who is downright selfish insults you and makes you feel inferior by constantly comparing you to other men who she feels are more capable than you.
“After Everything I’ve Done for You”
She keeps track of every single favor she has done for you, and this builds an emotional debt where you feel the urge to pay back in ways you can. There is an absence of genuine affection and empathy.
“You Always Make Everything About You”
She will call you selfish but in reality she’s the one who is entitled. She wants all the attention and consideration but never reciprocates.
“Fine, I Guess I’m the Worst Wife Ever”
When all other arguments fail she sends you on a guilt trip and instills self-doubt in you. And you may start to believe you are not a good husband.
Final Thoughts
Most of these statements are nothing but her way to sabotage your personal growth, demean you and destroy your self-confidence. She does this because she wants the entire control of the dynamic even if it means hurting you. If the hurt has become intolerable then individual therapy sessions and pursuing your personal growth, interests, hobbies and connections could help.
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