We all miss our exes often even deliberating over whether or not to text them to reconnect. Oftentimes we may seek not the person but the prospects of getting the comfort and predictability back, or sometimes we may be seeking closure or answers to the unanswered questions that still haunt us. But here’s where you need to be cautious: you don’t know which doors this action will open as you might regret reopening them. Before you give in to the temptation to press that hit button consider these 15 things
Don’t Filter Out The Bad Memories
Time impacts our recollection of the events and it makes it easier to romanticize or idealise the past relationship. Your mind plays the trick on you by filtering out your ex’s flaws and highlighting the fondest memories. So, before you send that message just sit back, think about the breakup and how it felt, so you don’t fall back into the same artful pattern.
Loneliness Doesn’t Mean You Loved Them
Your loneliness may make you believe that missing your ex in your quiet moments, means you still love them. But you need to understand that your urge to text them may simply be an attempt to escape from solitude.
Think Before You Text
When you are willing to take the risk, you must be prepared to be disappointed as late night messages are laden with heavy and intense emotions. You send with no deliberation or self-restraint. And these are the very messages you may regret later. Give yourself a day before you actually decide to reach out to them, this will allow you to think before you send emotionally charged texts to your ex.
Ask Yourself What Your Intentions Are
Ask yourself what you wish to achieve with the text? Is it to rekindle your romance? Re-establish friendship? Find answers to the questions that keep you awake? Or just to meet once again? You have to be honest with yourself so have a clear picture where this action would lead.
Addressing Old Wounds
Post-breakup most people move on, your ex might have too. If you message them when they are already happy in their new relationship. This action of yours may not just be careless but may prove unsettling for your ex as well. Respect their boundaries and new life.
Your Breakup Has Changed You
You must ask yourself, are you even the same version of yourself that they fell in love with?You may have grown and so might have they. As you both evolved you felt the compatibility vanish, so why text when the difference between you two can’t be bridged? You miss a version of your partnership that you both have long outgrown, the version that doesn’t exist anymore
Silence is Precious
A conversation isn’t always the solution. Sometimes, silence is the most eloquent reply. Instead of seeking closure, silence may help you attain acceptance of the fact that you are no longer together. This approach will bring you both the emotional peace and closure that you want.
It Might Affect Your Healing
The breakup happened for real reasons. You can’t heal unless you are willing to move away from the triggers. You may have loved them deeply, but there might have been hurtful patterns and behaviors that broke you from inside. Healing comes only when you cut off completely from any remnants of a painful past rather than going back to the same person again and again. In fact, all it does is undo the healing you may have attained so far.
It’s Just Boredom
Is it reconciliation, or closure that you want or is it just boredom? You need to evaluate your intention honestly before you make the advance towards a reconnection. It’s better to pursue your hobbies or engage in something productive and meaningful, instead of hurting yourself with confusion and indecisiveness.
The Reply Might Hurt
You have no control over how your ex perceives your text and may respond in a manner that you are not gonna like. So before texting, bear this prospect in mind.
What If They Didn’t Reply?
Think about the causes that led to the breakup? Was it so ugly that you expected they would never respond to your message? Ask yourself this question. If your mind says No, don’t take that lightly and back off to avoid another heartbreak.
Addiction To Familiar Patterns
Your mind may tell you it’s just a text. What’s the big deal? But a message that can lead you back to a path that you left on your own, can mess up your mind, emotions, your chances of finding a love that feels genuine and calm.
What If They Texted You
Simply put yourself in their shoes for a minute. How would you react if your ex suddenly messages you some day? Would you be happy? Enraged? Or disturbed? The answer will tell you what course of action to take.
People Don’t Change Overnight
You want to believe with all your heart that they changed. The love you have for them desperately makes you want to trust your heart, but the reality is that people don’t change that easily. So, just because you have high hopes doesn’t mean that happened. This realization may stop you from sending a text to your ex.
Difference Between Closure and Curiosity
Are you driven from curiosity or desire for receiving closure? This answer is important as many times you may not even love them or want them back you may simply want to see how they are doing without you and whether they moved on or not. Closure can come quietly, and helps create peace and freedom rather than pain, curiosity does the exact opposite.
Final Thoughts
Texting an estranged friend is not an issue. But when you decide to reach out to an ex that you broke up with yourself there may be many complexities involved. A wrongly timed and emotional text may end up in remorse or maybe keep your wounds unhealed and make it impossible for you to move on with life. Remember, forward is better, but for that you need to give it a chance by letting go of your past.
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