Many people may carelessly ask intrusive questions under the guise of casual conversation without realizing how intrusive or disrespectful they may sound. Questions about children, marriage, career, lifestyle, finances, personal decisions or identity may cross the line and make women feel uneasy . Here are 15 such intrusive questions that often trigger sensitive women.
“When Are You Planning Kids?”
This question challenges a woman’s personal choice about her family planning. Firstly not all couples want to bear children and some may be struggling with infertility issues. This question is downright insensitive and a violation of personal boundaries.
“Why Aren’t You Married Yet?”
Nobody has to be answerable for their relationship status to you or anyone unless they want to share the details themselves. Asking a woman why she is still single is an indirect attempt to embarrass her. She may have her own reasons, maybe she didn’t find the right match, maybe she preferred career over marriage, or could be something extremely personal.
“Are You Expecting?”
The moment you see a woman who’s gained a few extra pounds the next question you may throw at her is if she’s expecting a child? Maybe she is, maybe she’s not, either way it’s none of your business. What if she’s trying to conceive and was diagnosed with PCOS? Or learned she can’t conceive ever? Or maybe she wants to stay childfree.
“How Do You Manage Your Finances?”
Another insulting question that may make a woman feel defensive is when you ask her how much does she or her husband earns, and even worse along with such low income how do they make ends meet? This amounts to insulting someone’s financial status.
“Oh Boy You’re Eating A Lot Lately, Aren’t You?”
Keeping a track of what and how much a woman eats may seem like a lighthearted joke to you but to people who struggle with eating disorders or have an increased appetite during periods of stress, or may have some underlying medical issue e.g. thyroid dysfunction that exacerbates cravings, may feel too humiliated when you comment on it.
“Why Do You Always Stay So Simple Or Makeup-free?”
If a woman is confident in her own skin why upset her with questions on how she prefers to look? Makeup or no makeup, this is entirely a personal decision. Maybe she doesn’t get pressured to fit into a certain beauty standard or glam that women feel forced to follow in order to be considered beautiful.
“When Are You Getting Married?”
Being married is considered the ultimate milestone every woman has to reach by a certain age especially among certain regions of the world, no matter how exceptionally well a woman is doing professionally she may still get asked this question repeatedly.
“Why Can’t You Have Children?”
Another way to cause anxiety in a woman without children.This is especially true for Asian societies, and the emotional impact of this question is so devastating to a woman who goes through the struggle of fertility issues and treatment. To add to her agony, these never ending questions aimed at her, may make her stop socialising at all. She dreads being judged for not having children.
“Are You Still Working or Focusing on Your Career?”
More women than men multitask a lot. They manage home, and work and feel the pressure to be perfect at both. Many young women, seeing the disadvantage many women receive in a patriarchal setup, pursue their career relentlessly to be financially, emotionally and intellectually independent so they settle for someone they find compatible rather than rushing into marriage. But questions like these put an emotional load on such women who are single by choice making them feel that maybe she’s incomplete and inadequate on her own.
“What’s Your Age?”
Age isn’t something a lot of women may be comfortable sharing around with just anyone. You can compliment someone’s intellect or personality or even the way they look without bringing age into the discussion e.g. you look younger for your age etc. What has someone’s age got to do with establishing a connection with someone?
“Don’t You Think Being Assertive Unladylike?”
When you expect women to behave or act a certain way, she can’t be too outspoken, she can’t challenge any man or she has to act submissive before any figure of authority. And the moment you see a woman defying the stereotypical norms, you end up questioning her feminine energy. Honestly, if you have to dissuade a woman like that, it’s better not to stick your nose into her affairs.
“Are You PMSing?”/ “Why Are You So Irritable?”
Instead of trying to understand the issues beneath her annoyance you pin her entire anger or grief on her hormones. Asking this question takes away the focus from the main problem and towards her reaction to the problem.
“When Will You Stop Being Indecisive?”
Women get to answer a lot of questions about their milestones like career, marriage, or any major life decision. These unwelcome questions and unsolicited advice leave many women confused and minimised. Such questions feel like an indirect attack on her autonomy and independent decision making.
“Why Are You Busy or Ignoring Me?”
Women get tagged moody or temperamental quickly. She may be genuinely busy in her life and routine but her inability to respond to others on time may be questioned as her arrogance or deliberate neglect. The deeply ingrained cultural stereotypes make most of you believe that women do less productive work than men.
“Who Are You Dating Now?”
If someone wants to keep their dating profile low, why ask to make them feel uncomfortable? If she wanted to disclose her affairs to you maybe she would or maybe she is looking for the right time to announce her relationship status?
Final Thoughts
No matter how tempted you feel to ask intrusive questions under the excuse of getting to know her better, nothing gives you the authority to question her personal choices or boundaries. Personal boundaries exist for a reason, they are meant to be respected and honored. Many of these questions targeting her looks, her relationship status, her career path, her fertility or finances induce shame, embarrassment and insecurity in women as you may not be the only one raising doubt about her unconventional choices. The best way forward with women is to steer clear of controversial topics and keep conversation warm and respectful.
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