Expecting total devotion from a partner while keeping your own commitment uncertain and shaky is a clear double standard. Some women who are always in search of the next best man, usually adopt this practice of demanding complete loyalty from men while keeping her own options open, and your heart is the collateral damage in her hunt for the best men. Here are 13 signs for you to see if she’s just using your loyalty as a second option.
She Demands Exclusive Attention Without Exclusivity
She wants you to keep your eyes, time, and attention all on her. On the other hand she hides her taken status online and offline both. This is a clear red flag.
She Reaches Out Only on Her Schedule
She prioritizes her own convenience and schedule over yours. You may be busy but she wants to give up whatever you are busy with to follow through with her one sided plans. Your tie together relies on her convenience and availability rather than mutual agreement. If anything this tells it’s that you are definitely not her priority but a pastime.
She Uses Breadcrumbing to Keep You Hooked
She offers you just enough affection, warmth and attention to keep you hooked when she senses you might walk away. But she’s careful enough not to invest deeply at the emotional level with you.
She Expects Priority Treatment for Minimal Effort
She wants to be your priority, and expects romance and effort from you while you are but an afterthought to her.
She Keeps Your Relationship Hidden
She hides her relationship status online, and offline. Or keeps it deliberately ambiguous to make herself appear single. She is silently waiting for a better option and using you as a backup option.
She Gets Defensive When You Set Boundaries
She benefits from your lack of boundaries.When you may start to see through her performance of love and start re-establishing some boundaries she gets upset and throws a fit.
The Sudden Jealousy Surge (The Trap)
She offers you just enough warmth to keep you hooked, but at the same time she gets insecure when you try to move on or even talk to a female friend or colleague.
She Uses You for Emotional Labor, Then Disappears
You’re her go to person when she wants to vent out and you may start to feel she’s invested in you but once she feels better she disappears. She reaches out only when she needs you, as you have made yourself endlessly available to her.
She Keeps All Future Plans Vague
The moment you mention marriage or serious commitment she diverts the topic. She rarely ever includes you in her future plans. This is a red flag that must alert you enough to walk away.
She Mentions Other Men to Keep You Competing
She subtly brings up the mention of another man who may be interested in her to keep you fighting for her in the competition she has created inside your mind. She wants to keep you struggling for her approval.
She Treats Your Loyalty as an Expectation
She demands deep devotion from you, but takes your love and presence for granted because mentally she sees you as just an option when all her attempts to find a better man fail.
She Cancels Plans When a Better Option Appears
You may be looking forward to the weekend date night but she cancels at the last moment because she found another appealing man who she wants to try out her luck with.
She Only Values You Once You Walk Away
If someday you realize where you stand in her life and decide to pack your bags and walk out for good she starts to panic. She may try to reconnect and get back with you. This is a trap, as she doesn’t miss you but the ease and convenience your presence brought.
Final Thoughts
True partnership and love should feel calm and predictable. It must not feel like a contest where you are constantly stressed about losing her favor as soon as she finds a better option. Loyalty, trust, respect and affection are the cornerstones of a happy and healthy relationship, and these must always feel mutual rather than forced or conditional.
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