At first glance, some women appear too charming to resist. They dress the best, they talk persuasively, they steal hearts wherever they go. It’s hard not to fall in love with them. But the flipside of such individuals who never fail to amaze is that they are usually hiding something deeper. It’s not humanly possible to never err, when a woman seems too nice to be true she may be putting up a pretence of goodness to lure her victim into loving her. Psychologists have warned about these personalities which master the art of hiding their truth behind a perfect persona, which is a trait associated with covert narcissism. This personality type thrives on control, external validation, emotional manipulation, entitlement, and a clear lack of empathy for others. Recognizing the hidden signs of narcissism in your partner can help you understand relationship dynamics more clearly. Here are 15 narcissistic traits often seen in women who appear nice at first but eventually reveal who they really are.
She Is Extremely Charming In The Beginning
Narcissistic personalities are hands down the most charming people on earth. They are the heart of all parties and everyone who meets them for the first time is floored by their charm. Attraction is something that comes easy to most narcs, but beneath the warmth lies deep manipulative intent.
She Shows Intense Interest Very Quickly
In the beginning she may pretend that she is completely hooked on your conversations, your thoughts, problems, and personal history. She fakes the deep interest to trick you into believing she is simply curious to know about you. However, down the road, she uses the sensitive information as the “Uno reverse” to control or blackmail you when the relationship changes.
She Thrives On Being The Center Of Attention
She presents herself as the most calm, composed and confident one in the room. She puts a mask on her true personality. She very skillfully shifts the conversation back to herself every time the topic is changed, to monopolise all the spotlight, masking her true personality. This behavior is driven by her deep desire to be the center of all attention and praise wherever she goes.
She Uses Humble-Bragging To Appear Modest
She acts humble but deep down she is too proud of herself. She uses humble bragging as a guise to garner praise for her accomplishments rather than openly bragging about herself. This is her way of seeking validation.
She Often Plays The Victim
Some narcissistic personalities have a victim complex. They are always the ones being oppressed and they build narratives to label others as the unfair ones. Everyone around them is somehow unjust with them. If your partner is always the victim she is definitely a narcissist. This behavior helps her gain your sympathy and emotional support.
She Secretly Competes With Other People
She secretly competes with people. Instead of being genuinely happy over others’ success she may feel intimidated and directly challenged by their accomplishments. So, she may use passive aggressive jabs to minimize their achievements or by trying to outperform them.
She Creates Drama Behind The Scenes
While putting up a facade of support and cheerfulness, behind people’s backs she may spread gossip or stir conflicts, pitting people against each other. This helps her maintain her leverage while playing both sides.
She Can Be Passive-Aggressive
She will never come clean with her intentions, instead she resorts to indirect taunts, passive aggressive remarks, sarcasm or insults disguised as compliments to put others down, to assert her influence over others. She simply avoids direct confrontation.
She Makes Big Promises She Rarely Keeps
She is all talk and no action. She makes grand empty promises, and she never follows through on her words. She uses sweet talk just to gain trust and praise while fulfilling none of her promises in return.
She Struggles With Genuine Empathy
A key narcissistic trait is that such people fail to identify and relate with others. They may act like they understand you but to them seeing beyond their own priorities and self is not possible. The emotions and needs of other people don’t really matter.
She Reacts Poorly To Criticism
She just can’t stand criticism even if it is constructive and meant for her best interest. She takes it as a personal attack and gets defensive or throws a fit of rage or simply shuts down and punishes the other with silent treatment. Criticism triggers a narcissist’s deepest insecurities.
She May Sabotage Others While Appearing Supportive
©Getty Images/Unsplash.com
A man looks away in a kitchen, seemingly upset during a conversation with an out-of-focus woman.
She might appear all smiles and all praises for someone in public while she resents them and wishes bad upon them in private. She may even build false narratives to tarnish others’ image if it threatens her position.
She Needs Constant Validation
You may feel she is so full of herself but behind that show of confidence is her extremely low self-esteem. She needs constant attention and validation to maintain her sense of self-worth, which is why she strives hard to be admired.
She Forms Relationships That Feel One-Sided
Over time, the relationship dynamics may become imbalanced with the entire relationship revolving around her needs, her emotions, her concerns, and your needs don’t even get a mention. This becomes too emotionally draining to bear with for too long.
The “Nice” Mask Eventually Fades
The biggest indicator of narcissistic tendencies in a person is that the more time you spend with them the more their mask slips and the more you get to know their true identity. The empathy they feigned is clearly a manipulative tactic and controlling pattern, not love.
Final Thoughts
Not every person with a few of these traits is labelled a narcissist. But the presence of multiple of these traits in a person is a clear sign of the narcissistic personality they hide behind the face of perfection and charm they present to the world. The key is to recognise the apathy, manipulative tactics, control based love and excessive desire for praise as red flags. This will help you better understand the rough relationship dynamics that come with being in a relationship with a narc. If you find the balancing act too overwhelming it’s better to part ways before you are trapped forever in a controlling and suffocating environment.
Leave a Reply